M y L i f e , L 0 v e , A l c 0 h 0 l , R a p e , D r u g s A n d s e x

My life has been t0ugh m0re than y0u think.
When I was m0re y0unger,I didnt even g0 to sch00l,me and my bad friends used t0 be in a park and sm0king and drinking.I went t0 a bad way like that cuz 0f the death 0f my friend.
I tried t0 f0rget all the bad stuffs.
I made it m0re w0rse.
My first sex was a rape.
That sucks huh?
I th0ught anything is better than rape.
Raping is terrible thing m0re than a death.
I f0und pe0ple and I l0ved them.
But they never gave me the l0ve i needed.
Yes I ran t0 alc0h0l.
I drunk a l0t and l0ts untill i fuckin l0st c0ntr0l.
I made mistakes again.
I g0t pregnant.
I wanted t0 keep this baby.
yes my parents never let me.
I t00k ab0rti0n.
N0 0ne was staying by myside.
I was all al0ne.
Crying inside.
N0 0ne hears me.
I c0uld laugh
h0w bitch life c0uld be
I tried t0 die.
But i th0ught living life was better than t0 kill myself.
I wasnt scared t0 die.
I was scared t0 be f0rgatten.

I have scars inside and 0utside
If the G0d gave me the wings 0n my broken shoulders,I'd fly t0 heaven.

I have many trumas.

Yes I have sex complex.
When I'm with a guy t0gether and if he wanted sex,i g0t t0tally scared.
I start crying a l0t and l0ts.
this happens many times.
s0 i might freak guys 0ut.

I sh0uldnt meet any0ne,maybe.

Nice pe0ple are getting far away fr0m me.
thats pretty sad but thats true.
cuz nice pe0ple d0nt want girlfriend like me.

PS:
I've just wanted t0 be l0ved but I wasnt g00d at finding nice pe0ple.

I l0ve y0u.



M y L i f e , L 0 v e , A l c 0 h 0 l , R a p e , D r u g s A n d s e x
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# Posté le vendredi 22 août 2008 15:31

Modifié le mardi 09 septembre 2008 18:01

M y p 0 e m ^_____________^//

M y p 0 e m ^_____________^//
what a g00d day
I feel like I'm under the rain.
My heart is smashed d0wn like glasses.
It's taken away
It's hurt like a hell
It's faling t0 places
I l00ked int0 y0ur eyes
It's like a drive t0 heaven.
It's alm0st Heaven.
Bef0re it turns int0 Hell,I'd have t0 say that y0u're the 0ne I never wanna let g0.
Y0u planted a seed with my heart.
Wh0 can grow this?
If y0u cant d0 this,theres n0 0ne else t0 d0 this.
My heart will be s00n dryed and died.with0ut y0ur l0ve.with0ut y0u here.
every m0ment we talked
every m0ment we shared everything we had.
every m0ment we kissed.
I want t0 h0ld them all and fall asleep.
I h0pe the place where I see y0u next time again w0nt be 0nly in a dream.
Even in the dark,I'll walk ar0und t0 find y0ur back.
My eyes are cl0udy with tears but im still seeing y0ur face in my head.in my s0ul.
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# Posté le mardi 09 septembre 2008 17:55

* p r a y s *

* p r a y s *
I h0pe everything will be fine.

...................................................................Amen...................................................................

L0ve,Aya
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# Posté le mardi 09 septembre 2008 18:00

Modifié le vendredi 30 janvier 2009 13:34

I f . .

I f . .
My new p0em^____^

If y0u say I'm cute,y0u're the m0st cuttest pers0n I've ever seen.
If y0u say we're far apart,I'd c0me and see y0u at least if that makes y0u feel much better.
If y0u d0n't smile,there's n0 reas0n f0r me t0 smile t0.
If y0u run away,I'd r0ller-skate as fast as I can just t0 catch y0ur hands.
If y0u ask me t0 leave y0u al0ne,I'll diffinately sit here al0ne.
My pill0w w0uld be wet by tears.W0ndering why I have t0 be thr0ugh this.That w0uld 0nly make me wanna hide in a cl0set.
If y0u say we're n0t meant t0 be,there's n0 0ne else f0r me t0 hug 0r kiss.I'd just l0se the way t0 walk.
If y0u d0n't want me,I'll try my best t0 be with y0u cuz y0u're the 0ne I never wanna let g0..
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# Posté le mardi 09 septembre 2008 18:08

I t ' s b e e n A L 0 n g T i m e...

I t ' s b e e n A L 0 n g T i m e...
I m0ved 0ut.
Life is s0 t0ugh.
I came back t0 my h0me t0wn and using my dad's c0mputer at the m0ment.
I was g0ing t0 w0rk as teleph0ne sale staff but I quitted.
And Now I have n0 j0b.
Karl and I are n0t g0ing 0ut anym0re.
Anyway,he will be my friends again in future I h0pe!
Just, Everything didn't g0 well. f0r s0me reas0ns.

I g0t tattooed 0n the day he left.
But the tatt00ist made mistake.
I g0t my birthday 19870220 but she did with 19890220
anyway she payed me back and als0 she is l00king f0r a g00d h0spital t0 fix this.

I've been drunk like everyday.
I h0pe I w0n't be alch0lic.

S00n my c0mputer will w0rk again s0 I will be able t0 be 0nline s0me m0re!


Thank y0u f0r reading.

Ayaka x
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# Posté le vendredi 30 janvier 2009 13:24